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I am a pirate…..

August 25, 2012

Yep, it’s convention week!  Well, if you are a Republican it’s convention week. The Republican Party is all ramped up and ready to host its big national shindig to nominate Mitt Romney for President and Paul Ryan for vice president in the upcoming November elections. (Just in case you hadn’t heard!).  The celebration will be held in Tampa, Florida, unless of course Tropical Storm Isaac decides to become a full on hurricane and wreak havoc with their plans!

I read this morning that Tampa is the capital of “hate metal” and/or “death metal” bands and that was causing a small stir of conversation among musicians and political leaders in the city. Having been raised on The Beatles, The Beach Boys, Elvis, and Elton John, I really had no idea that such bands existed, but doubted that they would be invited to the Convention. In fact the lead singer in a group called “Morbid Angel” was quoted as saying “There is usually something far more creative and worthwhile happening that distracts our focus from the ever-important suits who promise everything and deliver nothing.” I wasn’t sure if it would be a seemly or prudent move on the part of Chatty Grandma to agree with a Morbid Angel, but I was inclined to! Another music critic said that inviting the Republicans to Tampa was “kind of like having a group called Abstinence for the Sexually Anxious holding its convention in San Francisco. Or a group called Society for the Hatred of Corn deciding to meet up in Iowa.” So there you have it! I think I’ll stay away from Tampa this week!

Did you know that there are five “majority” political parties in the United States?  A majority party being defined as “having an independent state organization in a majority of states.” Of course I have just mentioned the Republicans, who started their party in 1854. They are oft referred to as “conservatives” or “the right”…those who tend to favor economic freedom, but frequently support laws to restrict personal behavior that violates “traditional values.” They oppose excessive government control of business, while endorsing government action to defend morality and the traditional family structure. Conservatives usually support a strong military, oppose bureaucracy and high taxes, favor a free-market economy, and endorse strong law enforcement.

The Democrats, who organized in 1828, will throw their big party to re-elect President Obama and Vice-president Joe Biden in early September in Charlotte, North Carolina. Charlotte is known as a city of banking, a great university, and home to the Chiquita Bananas headquarters! I wonder if they will serve bananas foster to the President? Democrats, also known as “liberals” or “the left” usually embrace freedom of choice in personal matters, but tend to support significant government control of the economy. They generally support a government-funded “safety net” to help the disadvantaged, and advocate strict regulation of business. Liberals tend to favor environmental regulations, defend civil liberties and free expression, support government action to promote equality, and tolerate diverse lifestyles.

The Libertarians, who formed their party in 1971, have already held their convention……in Las Vegas in May. They elected former New Mexico governor Gary Johnson as their candidate for the presidency. Las Vegas, known as “Sin City”, probably paid little attention to the conventioneers whose party supports maximum liberty in both personal and economic matters….as does Las Vegas….I think! They also advocate a much smaller government; one that is limited to protecting individuals from coercion and violence. Libertarians tend to embrace individual responsibility, oppose government bureaucracy and taxes, promote private charity, tolerate diverse lifestyles, support the free market, and defend civil liberties.

The Green Party was born in 1991. It too has already held its convention….in July, in Baltimore, city of brotherly love. A perfect setting for this party whose candidates preach peace and love and who elected Jill Stein, MD, of Massachusetts as their nominee for president. Close runner up was Roseanne Barr. Now that is a lady I’d like to see in the oval office. I doubt she’d do much worse than any other president we have had in modern times, but she’d surely be the most outrageous, over the top, entertaining political character in the history of the country! After all, she is a nut farmer in Hawaii and everyone knows that nut farmers are the perfect candidates for political office! The Green party believes in grassroots democracy, social justice and equal opportunity, ecological wisdom (nut farmers have that !), nonviolence, decentralization, community-based economics (what…a commune?), feminism and gender equality, respect for diversity, personal and global responsibility, and future focus and sustainability. The Green Party does not accept donations from corporations. Thus, the party’s platforms and rhetoric critique any corporate influence and control over government, media, and American society at large.

The last majority party is that of the Constitution Party, formed in 1992. It held its convention in Nashville in April and nominated Former Republican Congressman Virgil Goode to be its candidate for president on the November ballot. Virgil grew up a Democrat. He then decided to be Independent for several years. Next he tried the Republican party, but when he lost his house seat in 2008, he joined the Constitution Party. The Constitution party is described as a “Paleoconservative” party. I thought a paleontologist studied prehistoric life, old fossils, and dinosaurs! However, The party’s platform is predicated on the principles of the nation’s founding documents so I suppose that is the study of “old” with a political twist! The party puts a large focus on immigration calling for stricter penalties towards illegal immigrants and a moratorium on legal immigration until all federal subsidies to immigrants are discontinued.

Are you as confused as I am? I like parts of all the above. I dislike parts of all the above. I think I may just go join the Pirate Party. Yes, you read that correctly. The Pirate Party was formed  in 2006 and its platform primarily focuses on intellectual property reform and freedom from internet censorship. After all if they start censoring the internet, they will most likely kick me off. Then where would we all be?

Have a great political free afternoon.


Chatty Grandma






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  1. jeannie lindberg permalink

    Thanks for this info in a nutshell. It is very helpful. I will need to reread. Keep it up Chatty Grandma, I look forward to each new blog.

    • Thanks so much for reading my blogs. Glad you enjoy them.

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